Have you ever looked into the mirror and wondered who you have become and what happened to the old you? I look back two years when I didn't care what other people thought about me or how I looked on the outside. Now I look in the mirror and see a girl obsessing over having perfect hair and making sure her lipstick isn't smudged. My standards are lowering. I get worried when I can't find my cell phone, but when my Bible is missing I act like it's the least of my worries.
I'm changing. I'm not the only one who has noticed it, but my friends have too. I'm not the girl who I used to be. I have tried to be so many different people that I don't even know who I am anymore. I am not sure what my individual taste is because I follow what my new role model of the day wears.
When I ask myself what I would do in a situation, I can't answer cause I have become too consumed in becoming someone else. I can't find myself anymore. No matter how hard I searched, the real me couldn't be found.
The other day I was going to find me. I started to write in my journal, and when I went shopping I found stuff that applied to me. When I read my Bible, I found verses that applied to me.
Too often, we let the world mold and shape us. It's so easy to become a part of the world, but we must remember that even though we live in the world, we don't have to be of it. Even when we claim to be Christians and want to grow in our relationship with the Lord, the devil clings to any part of us where he knows we are insecure. For two years he had ahold of this section of my life. In two years I went from being the girl who held her head high to the girl who always made sure her shoes where still right with the current fashion trends.
This is another battle in my life. It's going to wear me down and try to tear me down. I will be fighting it till I can't fight no more. It's something I will constantly be working on, constantly be struggling with. But it's much more important to grow in my relationship with God then to grow in my relationship with my wallet.
