Ten things I’ve learned about my own dating life

  We’re still babies. Little tiny babies who are still learning & relearning everything constantly, but God has already taught us more than I imagined through this really big deal. This is what I have learned about my very-own dating life.

(Sounds much more grown up than it is in reality, I promise).

1. Dating is magical.

 I really never felt inseparable/head-over-heels in the past (which caused some freaking out...), but dating Brody  instantly created a bond which I never bargained on. Being completely vulnerable with and committed to someone is a crazy, crazy thing. Meeting up  from whatever stressful thing that occurred to getting to sit down and  to cuddle and talk is, bar none, one of the greatest earthly joys imaginable. I never, ever, ever imagined how incredible dating my favorite person could be. There is a sturdy amount of watching movies on Netflix, eating pizza, and laughing fits. And you know? It's a hundred times more romantic than any of that sappy stuff. 

2. Being best friends is ridiculously fun. 

We're especially lucky because we enjoy doing almost all of the same things. Some things to greater/lesser degrees, but we definitely scored in the "shared interests" category (for example: our love for animals , lol. see also: Many other likes!!. I didn't anticipate being so excited about just hanging out with the same person as much as humanly possible.  Brody and I pretty much do alot of stuff together. Playing, socializing, shopping, and we are still really big fans of each other. 

                                           

3. Laughing is vital.

 Laughing really hard and then making out. Brody has the gift of not taking himself too 

seriously. And bringing some humorous perspective to silly arguments.

4. Playing games is the bomb.

It's our secret power. Brody, like a lot of men, likes to bond over doing something instead of always just sitting and talking. I, like a lot of all? women, bond over talking. Playing games is a win-win, because we're doing something and we can talk easily. Unless it spirals into a competitive tantrum from one of us me. 

4. He's different than me. 

Also different than he was yesterday, or will be tomorrow, or will be after he's had a snack. As I get to know him more and more, I find out more ways that he's just designed differently, and how he communicates/processes/hears/learns might be different in a way that I don't understand because (duh), I'm not that way. It's scary how much I assume people think the same way I do, and how often I should just shut up and actually hear someone explain how they feel/think about something, instead of being bossy, judgmental, and controlling. Also, newsflash: men & women are astonishingly different in a million ways, but not always in the ways you'd expect. And my particular boyfriend isn't like anybody else's boyfriend, and my job is to learn him & love him, instead of saying "wait a second! the books I read said you were supposed to respond THIS way!"

5. God puts two different people on the same team for good old sanctification and for getting stuff DONE.  

Pretty much every time Brody excitedly suggests something that sounds a bit iffy to me and I decide to try and see where it goes, it's basically the best-ever. I tend to get excited about things, but quickly get cynical/lazy, whereas not only does Brody  have a literally endless supply of seemingly far-fetched dreams and ideas, he has the guts to back it up with hard work. There are so many ways our differences make us so much useful.

6. Dating changes who you are.

We’re on a team now. I’ve had a complete restructure of my everyday life. It’s kinda thrown me for a loop—a happy loop! I have absolutely loved all these new things! Of course the number one thing in our relationship is Jesus. So thankful for a boyfriend who reminds me of that and encourages and supports me to do things that restore order and  clarity to my soul. (Reading, writing, painting etc.)

7. Dating  doesn't fix who you were.

Not even a little bit. I can't count how many times since we've been dating  I've been knee-deep in some kind of sin (pettiness, irresponsibility, laziness, pride...) and slowly realized "dagnabit--this is something God has been working on for years". And something that it would have been handy to get better at before dating . I firmly believe that you don't wait until you have it all together to  start dating (hello, you'd never date ), but also that being with someone  will not magically erase your sin. Problems are problems, and they might come out in different ways, or the same ways, but they'll definitely still come

 out. (p.s. mama you were right about a lot of things.)

8.  Eating food will solve all manner of ills.

For real.I have a habit (instead of maturely making a healthy breakfast) of wandering around lashing out and feeling like the world is coming to an end, until eventually I realize I should probably eat something. Which leads to an alarmingly quick restoration, body and soul. Pro-tip: healthy smoothies are the best for this problem. They are MY LIFE right now. And if you know me in real life, I have probably shouted that to you at least a couple times.

 9. Dating  is distracting.

I'd always been a little snobby about the part in the Bible that basically talks about how a married woman is more distracted, but it's true! I’m not married but still. I've been pretty appalled by how easily I idolize Brody, and not in a "you're so perfect" kind of way, but just in a "you are MY LIFE" kind of way. It's terrifyingly easy to pretty much make him the functional idol/priority of my life, and to let other things slip. And, of course, if I'm expecting him to give me all the love, security, and joy I need, we're going to end up with a royal mess. I turn into a nasty vacuum-sucky-needy girl, with a slew of ridiculous expectations. I feel like dating  has made a lot of "temporal" things simply so delightful, that it's easier to be very content in them. When circumstances surrounding us have been the hardest, it's redirected me from depending too much on him, a comfortable life, etc, and pointed me toward the only One who is worthy of worship.

10. I'm a selfish brat, and holy cow, he's a good man.

I get pouty and standoffish, he's honest and works through things. I cross my arms and shrink, he squeezes me and kisses me. I get mired in self-pitying anger, and he is gentle and loving until I feel okay again. I clam up, he talks it out.  99.9% of our "fights" are me being a brat and him calmly and rationally working through it.  Dating him  has been the clearest tangible picture of God's unconditional love for me, as he blesses me continuously through an impossibly amazing man who doesn't treat me a bit like I deserve. I am indescribably thankful for his unwavering faithfulness through every stage of life, including this one.