Blue Fog

Hey girls!


I'm sorry I haven't been writing as much, I have been insanely busy, especially this weekend...I'm still exhausted from it all. It was alot of fun though, going shopping with my Mom, and going fishing and meeting new people..that's always good, huh?
Well, the weekend was good, but I'm afraid today was one of those days that's rather ho-hum. You know those kinda days, where the weather is cloudy, and your hair refuses to corporate, and you have to wake up early to get to class, and you don't feel like doing any work?

I guess I could chalk it up to post--summer vacation blues, and the funny thing is, my summer vacation so far isn't all that relaxing, It is fun, hanging out with friends and shopping and all that good stuff, but I got pretty sick of constantly running around, staying up late and then randomly waking up early...my body must have been still in school-mode, because I just can't sleep in for the life of me!
So while it wasn't really a RELAXING summer vacation so far, it was fun, good and bad parts of t's alike.
I don't have anything super exciting to report, except a few things God has been showing me that I want to share with all you guys.

The main thing is...that I need to focus more. I tend to be kinda ADHD..I don't have the disorder, but I tend to be kind of space-y and easily distracted, especially when it comes to things like reading magazines instead of studying, or watching YouTube videos instead of cleaning my room, or whatever. Basically, I'm a procrastinator in alot of areas of life and I seriously need to quit.

Any advice for a girl who is having trouble focusing? I'm about to start eliminating some areas, like keeping my phone away from me so I won't be tempted to play around with it while doing school, and making a point to clean my room every night so it doesn't get all piled up, and making a point not to have a boyfriend while in high school so I wont get all distracted by boy issues. (Besides, it doesn't make sense to date in high school anyway. We're all about to go off to college...ther's no way the relationship would work, what with the different settings and separation and all that. It's just a decision I've made.) But I still end up staring into space, or listening to music or whatever. It's just the normal everyday stuff, boring assignments, and math and American goverment..it's all I can do to keep myself from spacing out and doing whatever.
I don't want to be a space-case lazy butt, and I'm trying to work on it. Any advice girls? Cause I'm not doing so hot with this self motivation stuff.

Another thing that's really been slamming me in the face lately is HOW much people don't notice the flaws I get so bothered about. Like at my cousins house last week, I kept moaning about how not clear my face was, and after one of my friends text me later that day, and told me how beautiful my face looked that day.
You could have knocked me over with a feather. Why can't i see what everybody else sees? Well, I guess God is just trying to tell me, loud and clear, " You don't have to worry about your skin. Just be confidant and be yourself, and it'll be okay."
And so far, it's been working...but then again, whenever God says something, it's always been true, why should I doubt him now?
So those have been the main things on my mind...now I'm off into the land of make-up!


Adios :)
Love and huggles,
Victoria

(fog pictures not my own.)

Oh Happy Day :)

Just. Look. At. That. Face.

How could anybody, ANYBODY, ever say no to that face?

Yeahh.. I am SUCH a sucker for my dog...I mean...those EYES and the perky little ears...

AW!!

Cool people can wear pirate patches...and totally pull it off!!! :)

And these faces...PRICELESS :P (P.S. Only a place like Sir Gooney's has pirate patches.)

So. Onto the story of the day :)

Well as most of you know, I am on summer vacation (out of school) and today has been fabulous. Sometimes I moan about being homeschooled, and how people give you weird looks when you tell them, and how you can't really be on sports teams, or miss out on stuff like seeing your friends every single day.

But really, when I think about it, I'm super lucky. I have so much freedom, and although I don't want to stereotype or generalize, I have typically found that homeschoolers ten to be more down to earth then most public schoolers I know. Of course, there are exceptions to rule, like my amazing friend Kristina, but most of the time, I hav found the above to be true.

Especially the guys. I dunno what it is, but the guys they are so nice and smart and SENSIBLE. Sensible sounds weird, but compared to most teenage guys I know,they are just really down to earth and smart. They don't take stupid risks, or brag about themselves, or talk about basketball all the time, or heaven forbid, talk about hot girls.

I can actually carry on a innteligent conversation with them, and they are so mature and it's just so refreshing!! Sorry about the slight rant...but i just get so tired sometimes of stupid guys. Their rude, and there totally self absorbed. It's so nice to be able to have guys as friends that you can actually TALK with, not just roll your eyes at.

OH WELL!!! LOL!!!

Well I can't wait till tomorrow...I'm going swimming!!

Loooove,

Victoria

Neon Shines Through Smokey Eyes

Have you ever felt a connection with a song? Like, everytime you listen to it, you get goosebumps, and it just speaks to you, somewhere deep inside?
Well. That's what the song in the last post does for me.

And yes...I know there is refrences to being drunk in there, please don't think I'm accepting that behavior, i just love the haunting lyrics, Dave Matthews heart stopping voice, and the guitar woven through it all. I don't know why, but I could listen to this song all day long.
Anyways just wanted to share that song with you guys, since it's my new obsession :)
I've been thinking about hair today, wanted to share my ideas with you guys!!

First idea: Side Pony.

My hair is super thick, so side ponys tend to look cute, I would straighten the top, and then define the curls on the bottom with curlers ora curling iron or something. It's a super simple, elegant. and I would make it cuter but addinga flower to it, too dress it up a little bit. :)

Another idea I've been thinking about.

The beautiful fishtail braid.

I would starighten all my hair, then braid it fishtail style. I love dresses that have the mermaid-y style, so I think both these hairstyles would look great with that, and i could do them both myself, so no need to spen big bucks on hair.

The first hair style is more formal and pretty, while the fishtail is sexy and carefree...I like them both, and shall try them both out to see which one I like best :) Gosh I just love occasions like weddings. It's so fun to get all fancy once...especially since it's something I rarely ever do.

As far as my day today? It's been good :) SO not much drastic news to report about me personally, exept that I can't wait till to tomorrow to go to the pool, and I apologize about the lack of photos...ack! There's just not enough time in one day! :'(

The days shoould be extended to at least 30 hours so we could get everything done, huh?

Have a great rest of the week!

Love,

Victoria

Neon Shines Through Smokey Eyes..Part 1

Butterfly

Had a poem lolling about in my head...decided to peep out into the real world :)





Butterfly





The light is too bright,


it cuts into her eyes,


Where is she?


Only known a world full of darkness,


Queit, soft and secure.


Now the air blows sharply against her skin,


Her newfound universe bekoning her in,


Just a child in a much to big world...





She grows lithe and limber,


Mind full of brightly reflected rainbows,


A prism, scattering happiness wherever she goes...


Some of that innocence is broken,


She loses some of that young spark,


A green stem that supported her for so long,


A blinding mask,


A desire to fit in,


Incapacitates her in it's terrible grip.





Someday, somewhere,


There's gotta be a choice,


A way to put her foot down,


Just say that's enough,


She's done with her own limitations,


Her own failed design,


She can't try anymore or she'll lose her ever-lovin mind...





So he wraps her in his chrysalis,
Spins her into his silky security,
Never letting go no matter how hard she struggles,
Cause he knows it's for her best...
He won't let her walk that road alone,
He knows that times are hard,
Left in the dark and binding garb,
Wondering how she will emerge,
For the better or for the worse?

Let her fly, let her soar,
Let her walk her steps,
She needs to grow up
And don't just leave it all to fortune and chance,
She'll work hard for every privledge,
She pleads to have,
A price tag is unwrapped...
Don't let go of him who let you fly,
Cherish the words he spoke in your mind,
Don't waste a day in what, in the end,
Cannot be had, or held into...
Choose wisley my little one,
Before away you'll fly....

Everybody's Dancin Dancin Crazy....

Hey girlios!! Yeah yeah I know, not a real word, but heyyy...it's called a poetic liscense and I use it ALOT :) My life has been full of randomness, summer, swimming, just general stuff :)
I have had kind of a decision\revalationtype of thannngg... :)

SO. TEH REVELATION.

(btw, I have been replacing the with 'teh' lately...no it's not a mispelling..it's pronounced how it's spelled and it's totally *awesome*)

Okay....back to business.

I have decided to learn how to be more...feminine?

I'm not sure what to call it.

But for pretty much all my life, I've been kind of a tomboy. You know, the whole barefooted, runnig around in the woods, made stuff out of mud, kind of deal.

In a way...I'm still like that. And sometimes..since i'm about to turn fourteen, it's kind of embarassing. I'm tired of never knowing what to wear (or ever really HAVING anything to wear) or what the heck to do with my hair, my face...just everything.

I'm going to be in highschool this coming year, im growing up..it's time to start looking like it!

*major shopping trip is predicted*

Hopefully tomorrow!!

And I have my cheeta eyes set on these leeeeetle prizes...

*hemhem* Cardigans from Old Navy

And dresses...gosh I need these so bad!! With summer comin and all..actually down here..summer is already here starting tomorrow!!

Aw :)

And SKIRTS...I have like no skirts.

And pretty much anything from American Eagle is totally amazing..

Sooo pretty :)

Plus, a shirt like this which will go with anything...ties the whole outfit together.

I don't know..I feel like my outfits are so random...I have bits and pieces from everywhere, but nothing that really goes together. I have a bunch of jeans..but I'm sick of wearing them.

My goal is to get a bunch of pieces that work together..more plannin my outfits then just randomly buying what I like then coming home and realizing it doesn't go with anything!

I love these options from Tilly's too :)

I also find myself buying the same thing over and over again..same colors, same cuts, same prints...I'm daring myself to go bold!

Like this bright red number..

Or this fun loose cut that I hardly ever wear...

(My..I do like Wet Seal!!)

Plus, I hardly have any of those little things that tie outfits together like tights...

and this cute little owl necklace...

Awww and rainbows too!! Haha

And of course..shoes... I just love these from Kohls'!!

And these sooo cute!

And these sneakers are awesome too!

And these are just beyond awesomely cool :)

Sorry that's alot of clothes to show you guys..I'm just really excited.

It feels like I'm turnin a new leaf, and it's a good leaf. I'm tired of being casual, and of not knowing how to dress the best I can. With a bit of shopping, and help with the ever handy Seventeen magazine.. (note: I am not supporting the magazines morals, which aren't great, but simply saying they have great style advice)

I'm going to change into a diva, don't worry...just a more polished, feminine version of me, and one I am very excited to get started on.

So that's my revelation!! Stay tuned for outfit pics after I go shopping!

Love,

Victoria :)

Musings Under a Spring Sun

Hello girls...gahhh has it really been over five days since my last post? Really? I know I have neglected you all, I aplogize...but it has been a truly stressful weekend, I can assure you.
I have been wrestling with alot of emotions inside of me, guilt, shame, unworthiness, and last night they all just came bubbling out when I was talking to my parents.
It was kinda like the lancing of an old wound, and it was hard, but it felt good. I had just been dealing with stuff like feeling different from everyone else, having a tough time in school and alot of other stuff.
It's just been hard...and I had no idea really what to write on here "Im emotionally overwhelmed?? Thus I am in my pajamas all day long and reading wayyyy to much?"
THAT wouldn't have been good. So I decided to save my post until I wasn't so stressed out....which is now :)
So, I took some pictures outside, spring has been coming in full force and everything is green and beautiful...just wanted to show you guys!! It's kinda a self portrait thing...

Lie upon the carpet of the world, green with a luster, borne of tears from the heavens...

Think thoughts that dared to never enter before, as you stare into the sunlight, the universe's core...

Laugh as the wind blows, dance as the earth revolves, sing as leaves tremble on their branches...

And whatever you do, don't take yourself too seriously, in the end what does it matter, if you conformed tot he wishes of the ever spinning culture, dreaming of tomorrow, today.

Sometimes you'll get confused, quite muddeled and befuddled, Trust the Father who had a plan, before the world drew it's first breath, and the sun first shot it's beams into a dark and void universe...

Know who you are, no matter what they say, you're a Child of The King, flaws can be mended, for nothing is impossible without God...

Just never, oh never, oh never forget...how much He loves you....

This is my message to all you girls out there, no matter what you are struggling with, HE LOVES YOU...never let go of that, no matter what you are dealing with.

I promise I'll be posting more...just giveing life some time to settle down.

I love you girls, so very very much :)

All my Love and God's Blessings,

Victoria